Talk to the booty
by premonitioner
Summary: When Roxas and Sora have a little bet going on, who will win? [Roxime & Kaiora] [ONESHOT]


**Well, the first line was inspired by me, because I cried this out at ten to one in the morning…Damn, I hate Naminé…**

**Dedication: Emma, I know you love Roximé…Too bad I wish I was her…**

He's just so _god damn perfect_. Seriously! Well, his looks, anyway. Why? _Why does he do this to me_? When we're together, all he does is tease me endlessly, while I can't do anything to stop him, and I can't even run away, because I have to be where Kairi is, and, _Kairi wants to be with Sora_!

When I met him in Twilight town, I was so happy to see him again, that I forgot about the _endless and constant_ teasing and annoying and practical jokes he played when we were in Never Was!

It's not fair! _Why_ do I have to be in love with him? It's not like I have a choice. Kairi loves Sora, so, I _have_ to love him. But he is so infuriating! I'm with him and it's like he's on permanent pester mode! I'm not even exaggerating!

**Yes, you are.**

You, shut up.

**Well, who stuck the giant cactus up your ass? **

_See what I freaking mean!_

**Ooh, Naminé, you've never told me you loved me before! Go on, say it to my face!**

I will not say that to your face because you know I do not love you _willingly_!

…**You've hurt my feelings now…**

…Roxas…

**No, I'm not talking to you anymore. Talk to the booty, 'cause the hand is on duty and the face just don't wanna listen! **

…You big cheerleader.

**Look who's talking! Who's Other is in the squad? Hmmm? Not mine! **

Do I have a choice! Heh…I can imagine Sora prancing around in a mini skirt with pompoms, though…

…**Me too! **

You do realise that you would have to do it too, right?

**Yep! I've always wanted to know what its like to wear a skirt!**

Oh dear lord…I'm in love with a wannabe transvestite…in the name of Nobodies…help me…

**Aw, Naminé, you said you loved me again! Hee hee…**

Get off me, you tranny.

**Aw, doesn't my transvestite-ness turn you _on,_ Naminé? **

Somebody, I don't care anymore, Riku, Sora, Kairi, even freaking _Xemnas, help me!_

**Well, Riku is off smooching Yuffie, Sora and Kairi are laughing at us, and Xemnas went kablooey a few months back, so, you're stuck with me! Yay! **

God, I hate you.

**And you love me! **

Roxas, leave me alone, and STOP WRITING IN MY DIARY!

**But it's fun! **

Piss off!

**Rsgaaekgjbagvlshntjb**fvleahrbgtaerbg**talerghbra**heburgybaer**gailr4tbgak**rbtgeray**gvbaitgvg **

_Sora and Kairi laughed as they watched Roxas and Naminé fight over Naminé's diary, and when they started wrestling each other for possession of the pen, Kairi took out her camera, and filmed the antics of their Nobodies. _

Naminé leapt up at Roxas as he gained control of the pen, and started to scribble all over the page he and Naminé had written on. He fell backwards, and she fell on top of him, and grabbed the pen. His grip on it remained as steadfast as hers was.

"Give. It. Back." She growled. Roxas just grinned.

"No." Naminé scowled.

"Rox_as_! _Please_!" she pleaded. His grin grew wider.

"On one condition." She raised an eyebrow.

"Anything but a kiss." Roxas pouted, and she smiled innocently.

"Pwease? Fow me, Namiwé? Fow you pen?"

Naminé shook her head and laughed.

"I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Not a chance in hell, buddy boy." Roxas shrugged.

"Say…Naminé…We're in a _pretty_ compromising position here." He grinned naughtily, and Naminé poked his chest with her free hand.

"Keep your thoughts clean, mister! All I want is my _damned _pen back!" As if to make her point, she yanked the pen upwards, but, all she succeeded in doing was pulling Roxas' arm up, which just pulled him up.

Naminé blinked when she realised that Roxas was kissing her again. (The boy had tricked her into it many times before.) She shrugged and kissed him back.

"Kairi, do you think he'll ever give up?" Sora asked his crush. Kairi laughed.

"Nope. If you were a bit more like that, then, _maybe_ we might have a relationship!"

Sora spluttered, as Kairi kissed his cheek, stood and brushed the sand off her jeans.

"Come _on_ Nam, we promised grandma we'd be back by five! Stop smooching your boyfriend!"

Naminé broke away from Roxas, slapped his face, gathered her pen and dairy, and followed after her Other haughtily.

Roxas got up, and sauntered over to Sora. Sora scowled at him.

"Hand over the munny."

"I still can't believe you did it again!"

"You started this bet, you finish it. Kiss the woman!"

"Roxas, I _hate_ you."


End file.
